Before it Explodes
by nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull
Summary: Logan is hopelessly in love with his bestfriend, Kendall. Will he explode under the pressure, or will he fall in love?  RATED M/R:SUGGESTIVE THEMES,SMUT,DRUG USAGE,& ETC. Pairings:Jo/Kendall, Eventual Kogan, possible Jarlos.


**Hello everyone, this is my second story. I'm not really good at writing, especially fanfiction, but please forgive any mistakes and atrocities I may have made while writing this. Hope you enjoy.**

**RATED M FOR: Abuse, Neglect, Drug(s) Usage, Sex & Etcetera... Suggestive themes are implied.  
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**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BIG TIME RUSH, OR ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THE STORY.**

** Key: **Talking, _Thinking/Private Thoughts, _Texting, _**Dreams**_

**Logan's POV:**

_**Tick.. Tick... Tick... Tick...**_The sound of the little red hand of the clock, on the wall in front of me was starting to get to me. Almost mocking me, and making me feel as if I was it's bitch. There was a deep silence in my room, in fact all of Apartment 2J... But there was something in my head that was making me scream, making me want to sob into my pillow and cry all my tears away, but I couldn't because that would be pointless. _"Why should I cry? Why should I have to be the person who has to suffer? Why can't I be perfect? Why am I not enough? Why can't he love me? Does he even care? No one cares... I'm no one, I'm nothing... I-i'll never be happy..."_ , my thoughts practically vomited out of my dark mind. Then, I remembered something to ease my pain, something to shut the voice out, even if for a few seconds. I shot to sit upright on my bed, and thought about my second best friend hidden in my nightstand. "What the hell...", I muttered softly as I arose from the bed, stretching my legs and almost striding towards my nightstand across the room. I opened the top drawer, and looked underneath my undergarments, and my boxer-briefs, then I found it, my precious, sweet temptation. I could see my shitty brown eyes in the blade's semi-reflection, and then I looked up to the mirror connected to my nightstand, and I hadn't even noticed I was crying, my eyes red, swollen, and puffy; pathetic. "Weak...", was all I could muster as I held the knife in my right hand and rolled up my left sweater sleeve to my bicep, and as soon I was about to cut I could hear the door from outside my shared room slam. But that's not the only thing, I heard something, someone, _his_ laugh and that's when I turned my head back and accidentally cut my left antebrachial, and I almost hit my vein, just by an inch. "Fuck!", I hissed as I ran to our conjoined bathroom to get my first aid kit in the cabinet. I opened the glass mirror cabinet, and found my little first aid kit, and I rifled through it until I found an adhesive strip that was substantial. I quickly stripped it of it's wrapping, and struggled a bit with trying to put it on before _he_ could see my arm. I managed to put everything back into place, and roll my sleeve down and open the bathroom door, only to be met with those wonderful hazel-green eyes, that I swear sucker punch my gut and make my stomach turn in knots everytime I simply gaze into them. Suddenly I was brought back into reality, and averted my gaze, as a slight tinge took to my ears and cheeks. "K-ken-dall... Hey..", I studdered, and boy did I feel like an idiot when he smirked at me.

"Hey, Logie! What've you been up to buddy?", he said almost energetically as he ruffled my already disheveled hair. "F-fine. I just peed...", I answered, as I mentally face-palmed myself. "Oh? Mind if I can go now?", he joked harshly. _!_ "Uhm, yeah, HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAH!", I awkwardly laughed as I carefully scooted away from the bathroom frame, and swiftly paced to the other door past Kendall as he raised his left eyebrow at me, with a look of confusion. "You feelin' alright, Loges?", he stepped towards me as I felt myself being cornered to the wall next to the door, and Kendall's bed. "UH... Yeah. I'm fine, nothing really. I'm just... HUNGRY, yeah. I'm starving!", I quickly thought as I began to rub my stomach, hoping he would buy my lie, but instead it backfired. "Oh, really? Well that's great, cause Jo canceled on me last minute, and I still have reservations to Yamashiro. You can come eat with me! Eer- You still do like Japanese food, right?", he asked almost seemingly nervous as he bit his bottom lip. _God why are you so hot? NO. Stop, Logan. It's not right. Stop... Oh no, not the puppy dog eyes... Fuuuuuuuuucccckk._ "Uhm-er, Yeah. I looove Japanese.", I stammered, until I nearly rolled my eyes when Kendall grabbed my hand and we were soon out of both doors, and heading towards the elevator. I didn't even get the chance to grab any of my things. I silently cursed to myself as soon as the elevator came up to the Second floor, and no one was in it. I was pushed in, and Kendall was gripping my hand tighter than ever, and this was totally NOT helping the pink my face was so clearly burning. Kendall didn't even let go, when we were in the lobby, and heading towards the parking lot to the Big Tim Rush mobile. He only let my hand go to just buckle my seatbelt, after he practically threw me in the passengers seat, and drive. This I could not handle, and I felt flustered. "Oh, Yamashiro is in Central, Downtown LA, so I hope you're ready to hit about at least two hours of traffic!", he beamed at me. _OH, FUCK MY LIFE._ I smiled back, and it soon faded as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. Two hours alone, with my best friend, with the guy I was desperately in love with for the past Ten years, the guy I practically cut myself over, because I know I'll never have him close to my heart, because someone was already there... This was not going to turn out well..

**So, what'd ya' think? Is it good? I don't really think so, but I really want to continue writing this. And trust me, I have a good idea, that's pretty long for this story. c:**

**Thanks for reading, and I look forward to your guys' reviews!3**

**Till later, with lovekurisu3**


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